General

No deal.

I’ve had the Guardian job search page open on my laptop for around 20 minutes now. I’ve had a scroll and browsed some of the potential jobs on offer knowing full well that after I hit ‘Apply’ I won’t hear a peep out of any of them.

And you know why I know that…

Because that’s life unfortunately.

And, as millennials – that’s what we have been taught.

That’s life, deal with it.

I have seen many an opinion about how my generation feel like we are privileged – how we’ve had it easy and how we’re entitled… yet lazy?

I am a typical millennial, but I certainly don’t fall into all the categories associated with this generation.

We apparently set the bar too high for ourselves – this is true. I have stupidly high expectations of myself and whilst I tell myself these expectations are too high it doesn’t stop me from wanting to achieve the goals I set for myself. Why shouldn’t I have high standards. That, again, is what I have been taught.

All through university it was drilled into us that we need all this experience and all these skills to be able to succeed. So ya know what I did?

I went out, found the experience and gained the skills… LOW AND BEHOLD… it didn’t make a blind bit of difference when applying for jobs because every single other person also applying also those same skills and experience…. you see where I’m going here?

We have a sense of entitlement because we fucking deserve it!

We went to uni, we worked the shitty part time jobs to support ourselves. We stuck out the degrading apprenticeships and internships because we were told we ‘need’ them to prove we are more well rounded people. And yet we, the millennials, are labelled ‘lazy’.

GIVE ME A BREAK.

‘2 piles of CV’s – 1 pile with a degree and 1 pile without… which pile do you think they are going to hire from?’

Recognise that speech?

In some situations this is true, especially for vocational courses, but for some it doesn’t mean shit whether you have a degree or not.

How has wanting a job we love and enjoy doing been spun into a negative trait? Apparently we also job hop too much. This, for me, is also quite true. But that’s because we all feel like we have to have a job to make it seem to ourselves that we aren’t wasting our time.

So we take job after job, gaining all of this varied experience and yet our dream employer will still want something else.

I’m not really sure the conclusion I want to draw from this latest rant of mine is, but I guess I just want change. I want less pressure and I want that sense of fulfilment when it comes to my work life… because right now, it ain’t happening!

And if that makes me a lazy/entitled millennial then I guess that’s what I am… but I see it as bettering myself by scoping out the life I want for myself by not settling for something I don’t really want to do.

I refuse to just carry on ‘dealing with it’ because ‘that’s life’. Life is what you make it and I am boring myself by plodding on without forcing change upon myself.

Because what’s the point in that?

WOO.

(Byeeeee, off to apply for more jobs I’ll never hear back from!)

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General

Can you even call it dating any longer? 

There has been a post going around recently titled ‘Why Modern Dating Makes Me Want To Punch Myself In The Throat’ – holaaaaaa. It bloody does and it’s a freakin’ minefield out there for single people.

It’s brutal. I was saying to my friends a few weeks ago when we were having just a general chat about life that social media and the mobile phone itself makes it far too easy to ignore someone or a situation.

If you’re on tinder, or bumble, or plenty of fish (awks that I know so many lols) and someone messages you who you just cba to reply to… you don’t. They’ve taken the time to message you (granted, we all know what they’re after – but still, the thought was there) and you just ignore them. Ooops.

I’ve been ignored and I’ve ignored someone and it makes so so disappointed in our generation that we’ve, collectively, decided that that’s ok!?

Why have we all accepted the fact that we can all treat each other like shit?! Even typing this I’m honestly, like, baffled. And confused…

Our parents, our teachers and friends have all taught us to be kind. To be kind to each other and ourselves. So, why, when we’re behind a screen do we suddenly all turn into absolute assholes?

I think we all need to take a big look in the mirror if I’m honest. Recently, I haven’t been particularly proud of my self/actions and made a new years resolution to just treat myself better and have more respect for myself as a woman. After a certain situation I found myself in with a guy, I was super angry and sad and decided to write it down… I just left it in the notes in my phone but think this discussion calls for it to finally be shared:

How many times gals. have you been seeing a guy, you think things are going well and then BAM… they’re not.

You rack your brains for reasons why, over thinking and over analysing everything, driving yourself mad trying to figure out what went wrong – when or how or where…

Just me? Ooooo kay then.

I’m the first the admit I’m an over-complicater. I dream up these issues and scenarios in my head that I convince myself are true – hence adding to the dramz I seem to create to cause myself unnecessary agg.

It’s exhausting  – and every single time I tell myself off and say right, next time you’re gonna be chill and laid back about the whole thing and not let yourself get worked up.

But, being me, of course that NEVER happens. But it’s not because I’m ‘crazy’ or ‘psycho’ like a lot of guys claim all girls are… I just have feelings. And when those feelings are hurt it, funnily enough, has a negative effect on me.

I’m not good at playing it cool or acting like I don’t care… but why should I. If something’s happening, in this case, with a guy, that’s making me question my own actions then of course I’m going to try and work out what’s happening… not for his sake, but for my own!

Some girls are so afraid of showing and saying how they truly feel for fear of coming across slightly ‘needy’… it’s not needy… it’s bloody standing up for yourself!!

Dating in this day and age is cruel… I’ve only been in London 4 months and have already been stood up and just generally ignored by guys I thought were genuinely nice… oh how wrong I was.

Men are truly from another planet… and they definitely think girls are, when in fact, it’s just a case of ‘wrong person, wrong time’.

And it sucks when you’re seeing someone and things go south, but I soon realise and remember that (after a few pep talks with my gr8 friends and mum) at the end of the day, I’m 22, in a city full of people and I’m at the start of a very exciting career.

Yes I’m going to be pissed off and sad about it for a bit because it’s never nice being brushed off by someone you like but I’ve done this enough (too many in my opinion) times to know when enoughs enough and it’s time to stop dedicating your time to guys who don’t value yours equally.

Think what you will about this… I’m sure some guys reading this think I’m just a classic nutter gal having a rant about my failure of a love life… but it’s  made me feel better so byeeeeeeeeee.

I titled it ‘The male species’ but reading it back now it just should be called ‘my generation’. Obviously, because I’ve only ever dated guys, they’re who I channel my love life anger at… but girls are just as bad!! I have guy friends who have been treated like shit by girls and I just don’t understand how – maybe it’s because I have a larger than average conscious and feel guilt about borrowing kitchen roll… but yeh.

I cannot play it cool. As I mentioned up there ^^ it just doesn’t come easy to me and I do envy girls who can but it’s generally because they’re seeing someone or with someone that doesn’t regularly give them a reason to not play it cool… that’s clearly where I’ve been going wrong.

Side note: For some stupid stupid reason I just deluded myself into thinking that dating apps were a good idea and obviously was blind to the fact that guys on there are there for one reason only… safe to say they were swiftly deleted. I’m deciding there just are no rules and just to actually stay true to myself when I say ‘go with the flowwwww’

So, London – I haven’t quite given up on you yet but as far as dating goes – but you’ve been a bit a knob so far ngl… being single is also super fun and also slightly easier haha – it swings in roundabouts haha. Intrigued as to what life’s gonna throw at me (Y)

Peace and love xox

 

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General

You, Yourself… and the rest of the internet

Every single time I’m scrolling through Facebook/Instagram or anything that allows others to comment on others content, 9 times out of 10 I see something negative.

There are some truly nasty people out there.

I class myself as a pretty nice person in the sense that I’d never be rude or nasty about another person, to their face of otherwise, unless they’d done something equally as nasty or rude to me first. Fairs fair in that case. But when I see random Instagram accounts leaving comments, mainly on public figures, accounts criticising their bodies, make up, clothes, activity it baffles me how someone can physically be that mean. It’s just cruel!

A lot of people say that these public figures, such as reality stars (who in my opinion receive the most shit) ask for it because they decided to be on a show that would raise their public profile. Right. Let me get this straight… so because someone wanted to better their lives, careers and make a name for themselves that therefore means they deserve to be trolled online for the rest of their social media existence?! It disgusting!

‘They chose to be famous, they’ve asked for the abuse!’… sorry what?! That’s bollocks and very very unfair. They’re still human. Humans with feelings who just happen to have more followers. Well-fucking-done.

Women, unfortunately (but not surprisingly) are the main targets and, as equally unsurprisingly, the abuse is from other women!

In this day and age, when men and women are both fighting for equality and equal pay and many other fairness battles – it just makes me so sad that there are people, women in particular out there, who find pleasure in putting others down… purely because they posted a picture of themselves in a bikini. It has the power to undo all the hard work campaigners have put into gener equality over the years… and the fault mainly lies with other women! Come on girls… stop that.

Freedom of speech comes into play here, but I’m a strong supporter of the phrase:

‘If you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’

Because what’s the point? What’s the point in being a nasty bitch for the sake of it. It seriously angers me. I’m a sucker for reality tele and follow a lot of the girls, like Olivia Buckland for example. She, and Kady McDermott both stand up for themselves a lot, which I love/hate.

Part of me is like ‘wooooo go gurrlllll’, because why shouldn’t they defend themselves. But… a reaction is just what these keyboard warriors are after and sometimes it’s best just to rise above the cruelty and get on with it.

I post regularly on insta, but because I’m just a plain-jane human with 500 ish followers, I don’t get abusive comments… so why should someone with thousands of followers be treated any different. By all means have your opinions, but why post it?!

Just keep your mouths shut.

For example, scrolling through Olivia’s pictures and someone’s put:

‘This is so edited!! Look at the shaker bottle and appliance… hardly body inspiration when shes photoshopping her pics’

So she uses protein shakes… ok? They help people gain muscle when used properly. By trying to keep her followers happy she just opens herself up to a whole load of shit thrown at her by jealous girls who, to make themselves feel better, decide to put someone else down.

Jealously is evil, but it’s embedded in all human nature and we all experience it, probably every day. The difference between nice people and nasty people is that nice people just experience it, mull over it in silence or out loud (without using the internet).

Nasty people clearly feel the need to make other people feel as shit as themselves but spreading their nastiness all over the internet. Congrats.

As I said earlier, I love\hate when people react to hate online, but athletes I feel have more than enough right to defend themselves as their bodies are their careers. American Olympian Aly Raisman posted a beautiful picture that is basically a massive middle finger to anyone who’s ever put her down. It’s great, and perfectly justified. Another gymnast had the best comeback to all the trolls with this!

So yeh, slight ranty post today but I’ve been thinking about it for a while and wanted to put it into words haha.

Just be nice to each other gals – we’re great and shouldn’t be mean to each other, its not cool. Empower each other as it can only go up from there!

Peace and love xxx

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General, Shopping haul

Slight rant.

You know when you buy something in a particular size from a clothes shop that you regularly use and, funnily enough, expect it to fit?!

Well, underwear, to me, is a pretty standard item of clothing I buy, usually from New Look, where I’m usually quite confident that if I buy one pair in a size 10, that another pair, labelled size 10, will be pretty much the exact same size…

I mean, yes, fair enough, slight differences will occur due to different styles of the underwear, but not, and correct me if I’m wrong, as large a difference as this...

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I know lots of people have investigated size discrepencies between different high-street stores, but within one store, you expect a size 10, to, well, BE A SIZE 10! I may be generalising here, but theres no wonder that so many girls have body confidence issues, and I’m talking about all clothes now… whether the label is too big or small to the actual size of the item, its just a mess!

For instance, I categorise Topshop as petite, so whereas in New Look I would buy a size 8 pair of jeans, Topshop would be a 10. Some girls, I imagine, avoid certain shops as they know that the sizing isn’t realistic. AND another thing, I work in Laura Ashley, where customers have asked me before if we stock size 6, as the size 8’s are too big. I agree! Some of the size 8 stuff may as well be labelled a 10 or a 12! Sizing should be standardised across all high-street stores.

Anyway, the main reason I’m even talking about this is the fact that in ONE store, there was THIS much difference between 2 pairs of pants, that yes are different styles, but they are intended for the same customer. I did tweet New Look and they are going to pass on the feedback, their reaction was ‘thats weird’. Pretty spot on if you ask me…

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