I have now lived in London for just over 3 1/2 months. I’ve learnt many things, some of those things I am going to share with you now just because they’re slightly irrational and have made me realise I need to chill out. Seriously.
- Slow walkers need their own designated snail pace lane to save me from loosing my actual mind. Honestly… how do people genuinely get through live walking at such a slowwwww pace. It baffles me completely. I actually walk around places saying ‘Move… Move… Out my way.. OMG MOVEEEE’. It’s a form of stress relief, quietly shouting at strangers, and I know I’m not the only one. Its a common annoyance.
- People think it’s ok to press the stop button on the bus … EVEN IF IT HAS ALREADY BEEN PRESSED. Let me spell this out for you. When one person presses the stop button on the bus, the drive has 100% noted this and will 100% be stopping at the next stop. There is absolutely NO NEED for 3 more people to then press the button. Why do people do this?!?! It’s a new pet peeve of mine and if people don’t stop doing this I will be making posters with the hope of creating a London wide campaign called ‘Stop The Double Bus Stop Button Pressers’ (I’m aware the name needs work). Who’s with me?!
- Travel is wayyyyyy moreeeeeee expensive that I had previously thought. I have a separate contactless card that I used to use for travel only – when my parents came to visit before Christmas they brought any letters for me that have been sent to my home address. One was a letter from the bank saying I was overdrawn… Oops. Clearly £100 a month isn’t enough for one person (who btw walks to work) to get around London without running out of money. Clearly not. Tip: if any of you have a rail card and don’t need a travelcard for work or whatever – you can actually attach this to your oyster and it means you get a third off all travel!!! This guy I was seeing told me this and its probs the best thing I took away from our 3 ish weeks dating, soz ha.
- London makes you fat. Well, I know I’m not fat but I’m definitely not as toned/slim as I was when I first moved here. Something about this city just drains you of all specific exercise motivation. It, instead, increases your motivation for after work drinks, spending other money, day trips around London and other things that aren’t particularly good for you. I was hoping that the New Year would somehow rejuvenate said motivation but instead I’m ill in bed with a gym membership I haven’t used in 2 months.
- Buses are the best invention. The Inbetweeners made people who used the bus ‘wankers’. Well, I’m a Bus Wanker and proud of it!! Let’s list the great things about the bus. It’s cheap. You (nearly) always get a seat. For the nosy people, c’est moi, you can eavesdrop on others conversations super easy. Yes, they’re less frequent than the tubes, but if you’re ever late for something you can just blame the traffic. People actually talk to you on the bus. You actually get to see London and for someone like me, who has no awareness of her surroundings, it’s a good learning curve.
- Boys still suck here. I love dating, but London has honestly broken my dating spirit. In the past 3 months I’ve been stood up, lead on, ignored and groped. Now, I know this happens in all cities but I was kind of hoping that in a city full of attractive men in suits I would at least find one. Trust me… the suits lie. Tinder and Bumble prove more active but I’m so done finding someone synthetically – done done done.
- Being a vegan is v v easy here. I have mentioned these restaurants so many times but honestly… there is no excuse NOT to be a vegan if you want to, especially if you live in London. I’ve been so used to ordering chips and side salad (don’t get my wrong, still a gr8 meal) but now I can take my friends to a vegan restaurant and they love it! Times are a’changing folks… get used to it.
- The air is different here. (Warning: I mention bogies soon). When I first went back, I was with my brother and he said ‘Can you tell the air is different here’. I then proceeded to take a huge breath in and it honest felt cleaner. (Here it comes) My bogies are also black, a lot of the time. I know that’s gross and I’m sorry but yes, girls also have bogies boys – we also burp and fart – sorry to break any previous speculation you may have had. Anyway – to my initial point, the air is better away from London. So if you actually want to do something with your weekend rather than Netflix your life away, go and breath some fresh air.
- I tut far too much. I tut at everything. People, people, mainly people. I think writing this has taught me one more thing…
- I’m living in one of the greatest cities in the world and I need to stop moaning. 2 thirds of this list has been negative. Living here has also taught me that I love living here! I love being 22 (23 in a few weeks guys don’t forget), I love living near my best friend, I love that I’ve moved in with strangers and met a new best friend, I love living near my brother, I love my new work pals, I love all the opportunities London can offer me and I love that all I need to do is take life by the balls and bloody grab them.
Over and out xoxo
shut up meg. 