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No deal.

I’ve had the Guardian job search page open on my laptop for around 20 minutes now. I’ve had a scroll and browsed some of the potential jobs on offer knowing full well that after I hit ‘Apply’ I won’t hear a peep out of any of them.

And you know why I know that…

Because that’s life unfortunately.

And, as millennials – that’s what we have been taught.

That’s life, deal with it.

I have seen many an opinion about how my generation feel like we are privileged – how we’ve had it easy and how we’re entitled… yet lazy?

I am a typical millennial, but I certainly don’t fall into all the categories associated with this generation.

We apparently set the bar too high for ourselves – this is true. I have stupidly high expectations of myself and whilst I tell myself these expectations are too high it doesn’t stop me from wanting to achieve the goals I set for myself. Why shouldn’t I have high standards. That, again, is what I have been taught.

All through university it was drilled into us that we need all this experience and all these skills to be able to succeed. So ya know what I did?

I went out, found the experience and gained the skills… LOW AND BEHOLD… it didn’t make a blind bit of difference when applying for jobs because every single other person also applying also those same skills and experience…. you see where I’m going here?

We have a sense of entitlement because we fucking deserve it!

We went to uni, we worked the shitty part time jobs to support ourselves. We stuck out the degrading apprenticeships and internships because we were told we ‘need’ them to prove we are more well rounded people. And yet we, the millennials, are labelled ‘lazy’.

GIVE ME A BREAK.

‘2 piles of CV’s – 1 pile with a degree and 1 pile without… which pile do you think they are going to hire from?’

Recognise that speech?

In some situations this is true, especially for vocational courses, but for some it doesn’t mean shit whether you have a degree or not.

How has wanting a job we love and enjoy doing been spun into a negative trait? Apparently we also job hop too much. This, for me, is also quite true. But that’s because we all feel like we have to have a job to make it seem to ourselves that we aren’t wasting our time.

So we take job after job, gaining all of this varied experience and yet our dream employer will still want something else.

I’m not really sure the conclusion I want to draw from this latest rant of mine is, but I guess I just want change. I want less pressure and I want that sense of fulfilment when it comes to my work life… because right now, it ain’t happening!

And if that makes me a lazy/entitled millennial then I guess that’s what I am… but I see it as bettering myself by scoping out the life I want for myself by not settling for something I don’t really want to do.

I refuse to just carry on ‘dealing with it’ because ‘that’s life’. Life is what you make it and I am boring myself by plodding on without forcing change upon myself.

Because what’s the point in that?

WOO.

(Byeeeee, off to apply for more jobs I’ll never hear back from!)

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Legs-are-it

I’m sure you’ve seen a certain image splattered across your social media this week following Theresa May and Nicola Sturgeons meeting to discuss the future of the relationship between the 2 countries they govern and the EU.

Now, if you haven’t seen said image, what does my above description make you think the picture is going to be of? Let me explain… 2 powerful women smiling appropriately for a political photo they know will be seen by millions on people. So, naturally, they made themselves look like professional women having a professional meeting and therefore dressed in a way that made them feel as so. Power dressing at it’s finest.

But instead of the press, specifically the Daily Mail, commenting on the important decisions that will ultimately come from these 2 people meeting, they decided to comment… wait for it… on their legs.

Legs.

2 limbs.

Well known apparatus, used predominately for walking (or kicking narrow-minded dickwits where it hurts, how you choose to use yours is up to you).

The front page looked something like this.

legs it

I’ll just give you a couple of seconds to digest that before I continue.

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If you can’t see what’s immediately wrong with this front page or realise how horrendously derogatory this is, well, go up to the nearest feminist (male or female) and I’m sure they’ll happily explain it to you.

You know what makes this worse?? A woman wrote this. Sarah Vine. A journalist, whose job is the share important news and write in a way that is accessible and informative. I mean, she made a grave mistake taking a job at the Daily Mail for starters but to actually agree to write this piece is a thousand nails in her journalistic coffin in my opinion.

I know I’m just one of millions of bloggers commenting on this issue but it just angers me so much that not only is sexist as hell, it’s also trying to make a serious situation less serious by instead focusing on their legs?! It’s hilariously ridiculous.

She went on to report to discuss whether they had some of the “Finest weapons at their command? Those pins!”…

REALLY

What about their knowledge? Their presence. Their position in government?! She instead chose, for the sake of a shitty headline, to be a sexist bitch instead. This is precisely what is wrong with the world and why people don’t take feminism and feminists seriously – it’s important and stuff like this needs to change.

What gives The Daily Mail the right to print something like that? They knew exactly the response it would have on the world and how angry it would make people –  and in a sick and twisted way it’s as if they want to make a mockery of the entire movement.

She also referred to Sturgeon’s legs as “altogether more flirty, tantalisingly crossed … a direct attempt at seduction”. WHY ON EARTH DOES THIS REPORTER THINK STURGEON WAS IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM TRYING TO SEDUCE ANYBODY?!?!?!? MAYBE SHE WAS JUST GETTING COMFORTABLE AND CROSSING HER LEGS WAS HOW SHE DECIDED TO SIT THAT DAY.

They were both just doing their job for god’s sake. They just wanted feel and look good, for themselves by wearing a skirt (god forbid they didn’t wear any tights, that would have made Vine’s head explode with even more outrageous headlines), not for anyone else, and certainly not so some idiot journalist could make dumb comments for the sake of it.

It’s honestly laughable why the reporter even decided to go there… it just proves that feminism still has a long long way to go in terms of being taken seriously in the press. I’m not claiming to be an expert in this field or preach to anyone but if this is still being accepted as suitable journalism in 2017, it makes me even more determined to become one myself and write about things that actually matter – like the headline that article should have led with – our relationship with Scotland going forward, not they’re bloody legs jeeeeesus.

I just want the world to be a place where headlines like that aren’t even considered – let alone printed… if it were a picture of 2 men posing for the same picture I’m nearly 100% positive what they were wearing or how they were sat wouldn’t be the subject of any article!

If you take anything from this post, apart from the obvious anger I hope you share with me, just stop buying/reading the Daily Mail. It’s non-representative and completely non-progessive.

Everything they report on is written in a way to create a reaction – a reaction I have well and truly given them and if that was the aim, then congratu-fucking-lations.

Enjoy it.

 

 

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Can you even call it dating any longer? 

There has been a post going around recently titled ‘Why Modern Dating Makes Me Want To Punch Myself In The Throat’ – holaaaaaa. It bloody does and it’s a freakin’ minefield out there for single people.

It’s brutal. I was saying to my friends a few weeks ago when we were having just a general chat about life that social media and the mobile phone itself makes it far too easy to ignore someone or a situation.

If you’re on tinder, or bumble, or plenty of fish (awks that I know so many lols) and someone messages you who you just cba to reply to… you don’t. They’ve taken the time to message you (granted, we all know what they’re after – but still, the thought was there) and you just ignore them. Ooops.

I’ve been ignored and I’ve ignored someone and it makes so so disappointed in our generation that we’ve, collectively, decided that that’s ok!?

Why have we all accepted the fact that we can all treat each other like shit?! Even typing this I’m honestly, like, baffled. And confused…

Our parents, our teachers and friends have all taught us to be kind. To be kind to each other and ourselves. So, why, when we’re behind a screen do we suddenly all turn into absolute assholes?

I think we all need to take a big look in the mirror if I’m honest. Recently, I haven’t been particularly proud of my self/actions and made a new years resolution to just treat myself better and have more respect for myself as a woman. After a certain situation I found myself in with a guy, I was super angry and sad and decided to write it down… I just left it in the notes in my phone but think this discussion calls for it to finally be shared:

How many times gals. have you been seeing a guy, you think things are going well and then BAM… they’re not.

You rack your brains for reasons why, over thinking and over analysing everything, driving yourself mad trying to figure out what went wrong – when or how or where…

Just me? Ooooo kay then.

I’m the first the admit I’m an over-complicater. I dream up these issues and scenarios in my head that I convince myself are true – hence adding to the dramz I seem to create to cause myself unnecessary agg.

It’s exhausting  – and every single time I tell myself off and say right, next time you’re gonna be chill and laid back about the whole thing and not let yourself get worked up.

But, being me, of course that NEVER happens. But it’s not because I’m ‘crazy’ or ‘psycho’ like a lot of guys claim all girls are… I just have feelings. And when those feelings are hurt it, funnily enough, has a negative effect on me.

I’m not good at playing it cool or acting like I don’t care… but why should I. If something’s happening, in this case, with a guy, that’s making me question my own actions then of course I’m going to try and work out what’s happening… not for his sake, but for my own!

Some girls are so afraid of showing and saying how they truly feel for fear of coming across slightly ‘needy’… it’s not needy… it’s bloody standing up for yourself!!

Dating in this day and age is cruel… I’ve only been in London 4 months and have already been stood up and just generally ignored by guys I thought were genuinely nice… oh how wrong I was.

Men are truly from another planet… and they definitely think girls are, when in fact, it’s just a case of ‘wrong person, wrong time’.

And it sucks when you’re seeing someone and things go south, but I soon realise and remember that (after a few pep talks with my gr8 friends and mum) at the end of the day, I’m 22, in a city full of people and I’m at the start of a very exciting career.

Yes I’m going to be pissed off and sad about it for a bit because it’s never nice being brushed off by someone you like but I’ve done this enough (too many in my opinion) times to know when enoughs enough and it’s time to stop dedicating your time to guys who don’t value yours equally.

Think what you will about this… I’m sure some guys reading this think I’m just a classic nutter gal having a rant about my failure of a love life… but it’s  made me feel better so byeeeeeeeeee.

I titled it ‘The male species’ but reading it back now it just should be called ‘my generation’. Obviously, because I’ve only ever dated guys, they’re who I channel my love life anger at… but girls are just as bad!! I have guy friends who have been treated like shit by girls and I just don’t understand how – maybe it’s because I have a larger than average conscious and feel guilt about borrowing kitchen roll… but yeh.

I cannot play it cool. As I mentioned up there ^^ it just doesn’t come easy to me and I do envy girls who can but it’s generally because they’re seeing someone or with someone that doesn’t regularly give them a reason to not play it cool… that’s clearly where I’ve been going wrong.

Side note: For some stupid stupid reason I just deluded myself into thinking that dating apps were a good idea and obviously was blind to the fact that guys on there are there for one reason only… safe to say they were swiftly deleted. I’m deciding there just are no rules and just to actually stay true to myself when I say ‘go with the flowwwww’

So, London – I haven’t quite given up on you yet but as far as dating goes – but you’ve been a bit a knob so far ngl… being single is also super fun and also slightly easier haha – it swings in roundabouts haha. Intrigued as to what life’s gonna throw at me (Y)

Peace and love xox

 

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Interview with the only GRLCLB worth being a member of… trust me

Do you ever come across people you follow on instagram with a considerable following who you’re just like dayyyummmm you’re cool. Ruth Finn Leiser (roobs_grlclb) has that exact effect on me. I honestly just fancied being nosy (fan girling) and finding out what goes on behind the feed. I also believe this chick, along with countless other independent original designers, deserves all the positive recognition going 

GRLCLB is an online shop selling hand sewn simplistic t-shirts with sassy messages associated with them.

I personally came across this gal when the tampon tax debate was the hot topic, as she’d design a tee that featured a used tampon and ‘Treat Yoself’ emblazoned across the front. I just found the irony hilarous and so utterly relevant that I’ve followed her ever since. I won’t say too much more but she takes a very personal approach with her followers and this approach is one of the many reasons I, and I expect others, continue to follow her. 

She very kindly agreed to answer some questions for me and for your reading pleasure… have a ganders!

When and why did you start GRLCLB?
 

GRLCLB grew out of nothing, really. I was working full-time (sometimes upwards of 60 hours a week), trying so hard, giving my all – for a job that gave me nothing in return, and that paid minimum wage. I just needed something to keep me going. I needed an outlet – for both my neglected creativity and just as a way to regain control over what I was doing with my life.

To this day, I have no idea what provoked me to stitch a tshirt. I’ve never been a sew-er. I could do the absolute basics, but I’d never done anything design-focused before. I posted the pics of what I was making, for myself, on instagram and people just liked it. I think partly they just liked the idea of watching someone embark on a journey with them. A year down the line, I’m doing this full-time, expanding the brand, and have never been happier or more fulfilled.

 

What is the message you want your products and blog posts to say?

Well, there’s the obvious messages of girl power, feminism, empowerment, strength etc, but one of the biggest drives for me is the need for honesty. I want to be an often much-needed reminder of reality. In a world where you can construct an entire life on social media, I just think it’s so important to show people what’s real from time to time. People see these ‘instafamous’ accounts post pictures of a seemingly perfect – and superior – life, and fall under the spell of what is often complete fabrication. Too many people are selling a perfection that doesn’t really exist – and which relies on your audience buying into their own implied inferiority.

 

Where do you get your inspiration?

I truly believe that we’re a product of everything we experience. Everything we create is a product of all the people we’ve known and the music we’ve heard and the stories we’re told and the sights we’ve seen. A lot of my cultural references are centred around my parents’ success in implementing in me an appreciation for ‘the classics’ – film, TV, music – but I’m equally driven by pop culture from my generation. I think there’s something about the things that form the soundtrack to our most transitory years that guarantees they’ll stick with us in a subconscious way. Mean Girls and pop punk forming the basis of my peak teen angst years, for example.

The rest of it is, I think, just a manifestation of how grumpy and intolerable to injustice I am on a daily basis. Little things affect me more than they should. But, where other people can shrug it off with a ‘life’s unfair’, I’m like ‘nah I better put this on a tshirt’.

 

My favourite thing about following you is how open you are about your own personal struggles – what is the reason behind this?

I just don’t think it’s fair that so many people – and not just young ones – will scroll through social media on any given day and think to themselves ‘why am I not handling things as well as everyone else?’. I hate the illusion of effortlessness that instagram affords us. And (the majority of) people don’t do it on purpose. They’re not doing it to make others feel inferior. It’s only natural that we want to share the good bits with the world. You’re always going to pick a holiday snap over a picture of all the washing you’ve been avoiding for 6 days. But all that it does is perpetuate a system of unfeeling, competitive, self-destructive comparison.

I want people to understand that, whatever they’re feeling, there’s someone else who gets it. I don’t think I can be that person for everyone – there are plenty of things I have no authority on – but I want to create a community that leaves no-one to struggle alone. I want to revolutionise the way we talk about the hard things.

 

What is your favourite design of yours?

Well, that depends on if I’m having to sew it… I love the rebel girl lips, it’s sassy and the finished product looks really cool. Unfortunately it also takes me about 3 hours to complete so it’s definitely a love/hate relationship. My current favourite is the philogynist ‘girls’ loveheart. I’m really into the cursive font and it’s not too tough on my poor fingertips.

 

How important is having your blog as a separate thing to your shop to you?

That’s something that I’m currently learning to adapt to. For the first year of GRLCLB, the shop side of things was driven almost solely by my engagement with my instagram followers. I would write pieces that would strike a chord with people, which would, in turn, lead to them perusing the website, which would often result in a tshirt sale. The more that people have advertised the pieces they receive on their own feeds, the more I’ve received orders from people simply going directly to the site. While this is obviously the way a business grows, it has made the process seem a lot less personal and that’s been something that’s forced me to grow and change too.

The writing is the most important thing for me. My essays are what drives my creative process – often I start with writing a piece about something that’s been on my mind, and that then leads to a new design – so, for me, that’s at the heart of GRLCLB.

 

What are your feelings surrounding the allegations made against ZARA that they were stealing independent artists designs?

It’s been really disheartening. You look at some of the people that have been ripped off – some with 3 or 4 or 10 times as many followers as you – and you wonder if there’s any point in even trying. If they can do it to people who are legitimately established within the creative community, then the act of being an unknown and putting your heart & soul into things that you can’t prevent being stolen, makes you feel very vulnerable indeed. My explore feed on instagram regularly contains posts of people doing things very similar to me – including one girl, also UK based, who started embroidering boobs in the same minimalist style on tshirts almost a year after GRLCLB started. My private messages are full of people who’ve seen rip-offs of my work and wanted to let me know. While I appreciate immensely that there are those looking out for me, it really does bum me out to see it. There are some days it makes me question if what I’m doing is futile – but, then again, if your reason for creating is to produce something that’s 100% original and never been done before and can never be replicated, you’re not going to find any fulfilment or joy from it whatsoever.

 

Give me 5 facts about you, funny, weird, whatever you like that you haven’t already shared with your followers…

Oh jeez. Ok. Let me think.

1. I almost ended up studying medicine. While I was at uni doing psych I decided I wanted to take it further and look at the brain from a medical perspective, so I did A&E placements and took the entry aptitude exam & did surprisingly well, but by the end of my 4th year I decided I needed some time out to ‘find myself’ again. Maybe one day…

2. I have a really irrational repulsion towards teeth. When I was 15 or so, I was clearing out my room and I found a box that rattled. I thought it was jewellery, but it turned out to be full of my baby teeth & the adult ones I’d had removed to make room pre-braces, that my mum had just kept because she ‘felt too bad throwing out’. Perhaps understandably, they now give me the absolute fear.

3. I’m messy. But, like, not a bit messy. A lot of the time when you say that, non-messy people think that you mean messy by their standards and there’s a few clothes lying around. Think more along the lines of: holiday bags that still haven’t been unpacked since 2012. I also found a xylophone I ‘borrowed’ from school to practice for my exams in 2008.

4. When I was 9 or 10, I tried to coerce my friends at school into starting a girlband with me. I called it ‘Wild At Heart’ and made tshirts and a zine and wrote songs. I probably should’ve made sure that they weren’t just humouring me from the outset because by the time I discovered they were I had gotten really fixated on the idea, and then just had to abandon it. I reckon that formed the basis of at least 48% of my teen angst.

5. Wearing socks to bed is essential for both sleep and happiness.

 

And finally, where do you see GRLCLB going over the years? 

I’m trying to make it less labour intensive for me on my own. Whether that means getting other people involved, or not, I’m not sure yet. I just feel like so much of my time is taken up with sewing that I can’t let the brand grow into something that can reach more people. I want to start engaging more ‘real life’ people – the goal of it was to create a safe place for people, so how wonderful would it be if that could be translated into a physical one? I want to concentrate less on the actual physical act of stitching, and more on the ways that GRLCLB can really make a difference. 2017 will see the introduction of more printed products, still with the signature GRLCLB style/sass, but that will save me so much time that can be utilised instead for organising get-togethers, fundraisers, events etc.

Thanks Roobs! 

Go and check her out at http://www.grlclb.com 

Peace and love xox 

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london diaries | 10 things i have learnt since moving here |

I have now lived in London for just over 3 1/2 months. I’ve learnt many things, some of those things I am going to share with you now just because they’re slightly irrational and have made me realise I need to chill out. Seriously.

 

  1. Slow walkers need their own designated snail pace lane to save me from loosing my actual mind. Honestly… how do people genuinely get through live walking at such a slowwwww pace. It baffles me completely. I actually walk around places saying ‘Move… Move… Out my way.. OMG MOVEEEE’. It’s a form of stress relief, quietly shouting at strangers, and I know I’m not the only one. Its a common annoyance.
  2. People think it’s ok to press the stop button on the bus … EVEN IF IT HAS ALREADY BEEN PRESSED. Let me spell this out for you. When one person presses the stop button on the bus, the drive has 100% noted this and will 100% be stopping at the next stop. There is absolutely NO NEED for 3 more people to then press the button. Why do people do this?!?! It’s a new pet peeve of mine and if people don’t stop doing this I will be making posters with the hope of creating a London wide campaign called ‘Stop The Double Bus Stop Button Pressers’ (I’m aware the name needs work). Who’s with me?!
  3. Travel is wayyyyyy moreeeeeee expensive that I had previously thought. I have a separate contactless card that I used to use for travel only – when my parents came to visit before Christmas they brought any letters for me that have been sent to my home address. One was a letter from the bank saying I was overdrawn… Oops. Clearly £100 a month isn’t enough for one person (who btw walks to work) to get around London without running out of money. Clearly not. Tip: if any of you have a rail card and don’t need a travelcard for work or whatever – you can actually attach this to your oyster and it means you get a third off all travel!!! This guy I was seeing told me this and its probs the best thing I took away from our 3 ish weeks dating, soz ha.
  4. London makes you fat. Well, I know I’m not fat but I’m definitely not as toned/slim as I was when I first moved here. Something about this city just drains you of all specific exercise motivation. It, instead, increases your motivation for after work drinks, spending other money, day trips around London and other things that aren’t particularly good for you. I was hoping that the New Year would somehow rejuvenate said motivation but instead I’m ill in bed with a gym membership I haven’t used in 2 months.
  5. Buses are the best invention. The Inbetweeners made people who used the bus ‘wankers’. Well, I’m a Bus Wanker and proud of it!! Let’s list the great things about the bus. It’s cheap. You (nearly) always get a seat. For the nosy people, c’est moi, you can eavesdrop on others conversations super easy. Yes, they’re less frequent than the tubes, but if you’re ever late for something you can just blame the traffic. People actually talk to you on the bus. You actually get to see London and for someone like me, who has no awareness of her surroundings, it’s a good learning curve.
  6. Boys still suck here. I love dating, but London has honestly broken my dating spirit. In the past 3 months I’ve  been stood up, lead on, ignored and groped. Now, I know this happens in all cities but I was kind of hoping that in a city full of attractive men in suits I would at least find one. Trust me… the suits lie. Tinder and Bumble prove more active but I’m so done finding someone synthetically – done done done.
  7. Being a vegan is v v easy here. I have mentioned these restaurants so many times but honestly… there is no excuse NOT to be a vegan if you want to, especially if you live in London. I’ve been so used to ordering chips and side salad (don’t get my wrong, still a gr8 meal) but now I can take my friends to a vegan restaurant and they love it! Times are a’changing folks… get used to it.
  8. The air is different here. (Warning: I mention bogies soon). When I first went back, I was with my brother and he said ‘Can you tell the air is different here’. I then proceeded to take a huge breath in and it honest felt cleaner. (Here it comes) My bogies are also black, a lot of the time. I know that’s gross and I’m sorry but yes, girls also have bogies boys – we also burp and fart – sorry to break any previous speculation you may have had. Anyway – to my initial point, the air is better away from London. So if you actually want to do something with your weekend rather than Netflix your life away, go and breath some fresh air.
  9. I tut far too much. I tut at everything. People, people, mainly people. I think writing this has taught me one more thing…
  10. I’m living in one of the greatest cities in the world and I need to stop moaning. 2 thirds of this list has been negative. Living here has also taught me that I love living here! I love being 22 (23 in a few weeks guys don’t forget), I love living near my best friend, I love that I’ve moved in with strangers and met a new best friend, I love living near my brother, I love my new work pals, I love all the opportunities London can offer me and I love that all I need to do is take life by the balls and bloody grab them.

Over and out xoxo

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What it means to be a Lady

I wanted to write this post when I saw the title of Lady Gaga’s article she wrote for Harpers Bazaar. I hadn’t even read the piece itself and I knew I’d have a lot to say on this topic. The term lady is defined as either a polite way to refer to a women or a way of describing a women, of title, with a higher social position. But for Lady Gaga, it’s the lady she wants to become that defines it for her – and she takes inspiration and guidance from the closest women to her, her mother and grandmother.

In the past, ladies were respected but talked down to, and looked after but treated as less important and less educated as their male partners. Thankfully, in most areas of the world times have dramatically changed but in some areas they really haven’t.

I still remember when I was travelling in India in 2012 and I was with a male – the waiters never addressed me, they always asked him. But that’s the norm – women in India are too often subjected to abuse, domestic and sexual and just general degrading behaviour from their male family members and husbands. According to an article from the Guardian, more than half of the adolescent girls and boys believe that is it ok and justifiable for a man to beat his wife. These are young adults thinking this! If this type of awful thinking is drilled into a person so young of course they’re going to grow up thinking at least a small part of it is true – as it’s what they’re used and accustomed to It makes me so so sad. The entire article documents many Indian women and their personal struggles and accounts of where they’ve been a recipient of all kinds of abuse from men and their country.

These poor women are never going to be able to discover what it means to be the lady they want to be because their own country won’t allow it. One account from the article describes how a women in the mid 50’s was out walking around 10:30 and policeman stopped her, asked her what she was doing and where he husband was – because obviously its ridiculous to assume a women can’t be out alone enjoying a quiet walk… and its even more ridiculous to assume that her husband actually allowed her out?! She may not have even been married – but again, what a silly assumption to make…

Articles like this baffle me completely as I’ve luckily grown up in a country that doesn’t stand for such sexist behaviour… well most of the normal, nice and open minded people of this country anyway. I’m also lucky enough that I can stand up for my gender and point of view if ever I was put in a situation regarding sexism (without being physically hurt)… and trust me, I would have A LOT to say.

Anyway, side track over… My ‘lady’ opinion and definition isn’t formed yet as my view of a lady is someone who’s got where they want to be in their adult life – for me, mines just starting. I find it amusing whenever I’m walking anywhere and mums with their kids walk past, and I let them go first the mum always says ‘Say thank you to the nice lady’, or ‘Mind the lady’… and I’m there, sniggering to myself, thinking I’m so not a lady yet haha, I’m barely a grown up in my eyes!

I don’t know if it’s the fact I’m still living in a shared house, or that my job is just so much fun it doesn’t really feel like work, or the fact I have have my student overdraft (thank yoouuuuu Santander) but I still don’t feel like a grown up. I still feel young – and I have no idea what needs to ‘change’ for me to suddenly click and feel like a ‘lady’. Maybe nothing, and if I’m honest, I don’t really want anything to change, just progress through the natural occurrences life will eventually throw at me

I just think that with age, you just continue to learn and grow, and view past (bad) decisions as a result of a less mature version of yourself. There’s a reason why parents are always right – it’s because they’ve already lived it and have learnt what the best path is.

It’s good to make mistakes, as that’s what forms you into the person, or in my case ‘lady’ I’ll finally become. Right now, I’m pretty content with how things are panning out and I hope, that when these changes start happening, it’ll be because of choices I’ve made that are full of positive outcomes, and scattered with mistakes – they also tend to make the funniest stories ;)

 

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You, Yourself… and the rest of the internet

Every single time I’m scrolling through Facebook/Instagram or anything that allows others to comment on others content, 9 times out of 10 I see something negative.

There are some truly nasty people out there.

I class myself as a pretty nice person in the sense that I’d never be rude or nasty about another person, to their face of otherwise, unless they’d done something equally as nasty or rude to me first. Fairs fair in that case. But when I see random Instagram accounts leaving comments, mainly on public figures, accounts criticising their bodies, make up, clothes, activity it baffles me how someone can physically be that mean. It’s just cruel!

A lot of people say that these public figures, such as reality stars (who in my opinion receive the most shit) ask for it because they decided to be on a show that would raise their public profile. Right. Let me get this straight… so because someone wanted to better their lives, careers and make a name for themselves that therefore means they deserve to be trolled online for the rest of their social media existence?! It disgusting!

‘They chose to be famous, they’ve asked for the abuse!’… sorry what?! That’s bollocks and very very unfair. They’re still human. Humans with feelings who just happen to have more followers. Well-fucking-done.

Women, unfortunately (but not surprisingly) are the main targets and, as equally unsurprisingly, the abuse is from other women!

In this day and age, when men and women are both fighting for equality and equal pay and many other fairness battles – it just makes me so sad that there are people, women in particular out there, who find pleasure in putting others down… purely because they posted a picture of themselves in a bikini. It has the power to undo all the hard work campaigners have put into gener equality over the years… and the fault mainly lies with other women! Come on girls… stop that.

Freedom of speech comes into play here, but I’m a strong supporter of the phrase:

‘If you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’

Because what’s the point? What’s the point in being a nasty bitch for the sake of it. It seriously angers me. I’m a sucker for reality tele and follow a lot of the girls, like Olivia Buckland for example. She, and Kady McDermott both stand up for themselves a lot, which I love/hate.

Part of me is like ‘wooooo go gurrlllll’, because why shouldn’t they defend themselves. But… a reaction is just what these keyboard warriors are after and sometimes it’s best just to rise above the cruelty and get on with it.

I post regularly on insta, but because I’m just a plain-jane human with 500 ish followers, I don’t get abusive comments… so why should someone with thousands of followers be treated any different. By all means have your opinions, but why post it?!

Just keep your mouths shut.

For example, scrolling through Olivia’s pictures and someone’s put:

‘This is so edited!! Look at the shaker bottle and appliance… hardly body inspiration when shes photoshopping her pics’

So she uses protein shakes… ok? They help people gain muscle when used properly. By trying to keep her followers happy she just opens herself up to a whole load of shit thrown at her by jealous girls who, to make themselves feel better, decide to put someone else down.

Jealously is evil, but it’s embedded in all human nature and we all experience it, probably every day. The difference between nice people and nasty people is that nice people just experience it, mull over it in silence or out loud (without using the internet).

Nasty people clearly feel the need to make other people feel as shit as themselves but spreading their nastiness all over the internet. Congrats.

As I said earlier, I love\hate when people react to hate online, but athletes I feel have more than enough right to defend themselves as their bodies are their careers. American Olympian Aly Raisman posted a beautiful picture that is basically a massive middle finger to anyone who’s ever put her down. It’s great, and perfectly justified. Another gymnast had the best comeback to all the trolls with this!

So yeh, slight ranty post today but I’ve been thinking about it for a while and wanted to put it into words haha.

Just be nice to each other gals – we’re great and shouldn’t be mean to each other, its not cool. Empower each other as it can only go up from there!

Peace and love xxx

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London diaries | trying and failing (but still trying) the vegan(ish) life |

Those of you who know me or follow me on various social media shizz know that I’ve recently turned vegan. I say recent – it’s been around 3 months.

However, for the past couple of weeks, after being so super good and (sometimes reluctantly) dedicated… I’ve been a v v v bad vegan.

Guys.

I bought cheese.

I had poached eggs.

I had shortbread.

…I’ve basically cheated :/

Earlier my brother sent me a picture saying that 1 vegan person, each day saves 1100 gallons of water, 45lbs of grain, 30sq.ft of forest, 20lbs of CO2 and 1 animal’s life.

Now. If you think about it, that’s pretty cray. I mean these figures aren’t accurate to the exact figure… but if they’re anywhere near that then, well – I’m impressed!

See, when I think about stuff like that and I think about the whole ‘future of the planet’ and how awful global warming is and how we all need to start doing our part to start saving this one world we have… it does make me want to do my part.

I just wish I’d chosen a path that didn’t ban me from eating one of my favourite things. Cheese.

Seriously, when I get married (lol i know) I want a cheese selection board, with allllll da cheese. Brie. Goats cheese. Cheddar. Smoked cheeses. Fruit cheeses. Camembert. I just love cheese. And not having it for 3 months, it was tough I’m not gonna lie.

So I caved. After a few after work g&t’s my drunken self wanted a cheese sandwich. So of course (I never argue with drunken Meg) we went and got her a cheese sandwich. Not gonna lie, I inhaled it in seconds.

Cheese and crisp sandwiches…. omgggggg my all time fave sandwich filling. Crunch, cheese, bread, more cheese. Don’t knock it till you try it folks – salt and vinegar flavour is a good taste against the cheese, but feel free to mix it up if you so wish.

I know, no matter how much I may crave certain meats at certain times of year, I’ll never EVER eat meat again. I have discovered so many veggie and vegan substitutes that I would much rather have, as I know that I’m not carelessly eating a defenceless animal.

My brother also said to me earlier, when I confessed my cheese eating ways that I ‘shouldn’t strive to perfection’. And that’s true. Recently I’ve felt like I’ve been eating vegan because I have to, because that’s what I’ve chosen to do… not because I actually want to.

To be classed as a proper vegan I would have to stop wearing a lot of my clothes and shoes. I would have to throw out probably all of my make up and toiletries and I would have to start basing everyday simple decisions around whether it would fit into a vegan person’s lifestyle.

And I just dunno if I have the will power or can be bothered to do it when I’m not fully committed. And that just makes me feel like a bit of a fraud.

Trying the vegan lifestyle has however made me want to cook, and experiment to an extent. It’s also led me to some amazing vegetarian and vegan restaurants across London. It’s a small selection, but so far I have been too Mildreds and Veg Bar Brixton. Both absolutely incredible and both offering completely vegan meals.

At Mildred’s I had to actually double check that what I was eating was in fact vegan, I just couldn’t believe that something so creammyyyyyy, didn’t have ANY cream in it. Madness. I highly recommend both of these places and I also encourage all of you to just try it.

I might, in time, completely transition back to being a clean eating vegan – but for the time being I’m not going to be too hard on myself and do it 80/20. Have days where I let myself have a bit of cheese, or a yummy pastry when they’re free at Friday free breakfast at work :D

It’s really not been as hard as I’m making it out to be. Soya milk – easy. Sunflower spread – easy. Vegetarian substitutes for meat – easy and in my opinion, nicer than meat itself.

Vegan baking is also super fun and extremely yummy.

Give it a go and see how ya get on.

Lets all try and save the planet woooooo.

Peace and love xxx

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‘You’re too fat’. Sorry what?

A friend of mine told me something outrageous the other day. It is so outrageous… and yet so common.

So, as she calls it, a pretty average crappy club near where she lives (in Reigate), refused entry to a girl. This girl wasn’t smashed, she wasn’t ‘inappropriately’ dressed, she wasn’t rude to the bouncer and she wasn’t underage. The normal reasons people are generally refused entry into clubs.

She was too fat.

What makes me sad is that hearing stories like that doesn’t shock me anymore. Especially now, having been out in London a few times, and being pre-warned I have to dress a certain way, otherwise I’d be turned away at the door.

Too fat?!

She was a size 10. A. SIZE. TEN.

In what way, shape of form is a size 10 fat?!?!??!?!!?

I love a good club night – multiple g&t’s alongside a good cheesy dance room with the usual awful and embarrassing cheesy dancing that always follows is my idea of a top night. I’ve had these when I’ve been dressed up to the nines and I’ve had these after a 12 hour shift in a restaurant so I end up in the club dressed in my work tee and trainers. Looking a right state basically.

What angers me about this is that I’ve heard multiple stories from my friend about this club – it’s nothing special. It sounds like your average small town club and in no way a one of the high-end London clubs who are notoriously known for turning people away for not having the ‘right look’.

Also, when you do make an effort to look good for a night out, I feel this is when girls might feel most self conscious about yourself. I know that I do! If I’m wearing something slim fitting or revealing of course I’m going to feel slightly more exposed and therefore slightly more anxious about how I look.

I can imagine that this ‘fat’ girl was getting ready with her other ‘fat’ friends, pre-drinking, playing a few games and looking forward to a night out somewhere she’s probably been a few times. Little did she know she’d be turned away for her weight?

Theres been a few articles surrounding this subject and the girl in question previously suffered from an eating disorder.

She mentioned in a recent interview that this highlights a much larger problem in society – discrimination against size. No one, ever, should ever be discriminated for the size of their body.

Nobody, unless told, has any idea why that person may have been through, or may be going through that could be having an effect on their weight. It’s a disgusting but common problem in this day and age and when incidents like this happen it just makes me question why nothing more substantial is being done to stop it. Discrimination like this, while it may seem small at first may lead, and has lead, to far more serious mental illnesses that have the power to completely take over and change a person for the worse.

This girl wanted a night out with her friends. She didn’t need a random doorman telling her she wasn’t the right dress size. Who is he to determine the what dress size is ‘right’ anyway!? He doesn’t. As a matter of fact, no one does. If that person feels happy and healthy within themselves, regardless of what the scales say, then, to themselves, they’re ‘right’.

This is classic club routine though… and its utterly ridiculous. The fact that men also have to pay when women get into a lot of places completely free of charge grinds my gears and makes me sad that while so many women and men are fighting so hard for equality and simple mundane things such as the price of a club entry still aren’t fair for both genders.

I’m just baffled by the fact that it’s nearly the end of 2016 and shit like this is still happening. 2016 has been an odd year. And it’s only going to get odder I reckon.

Working in the fashion industry and having come to terms with the fact that gorgeous PHOTOSHOPPED models are plastered across every advertising platform possible – I’ve sort of become immune to it. I know that to achieve the model look is impossible, because it was never real in the first place. But when girls who are so unhappy with how they look see these adverts of course it’s going to have a negative effect on them. Their thoughts just instantly shoot to the classic ‘to be beautiful and the ‘perfect’ shape I MUST look like this model’… these thoughts sometimes lead to detrimental actions and unrealistic ‘goals’.

I just hope that in a years time, I look back on this blog post and the world is different. I hope that people are more accepting, more kind and less afraid to not give a damn about what others think of them. I hope this for myself too. Everyone is guilty for being worried about how others perceive them – and if you can’t admit it then your just kidding yourself.

I hope that women and men can walk around and not be afraid of being made to feel small or insignificant by someone else.

I just hope that change is around the corner, because we really need it. And fast.

Peace and love xxx

(I’m hoping to do a series of blogs all about female empowerment and gender equality… so if that sounds like something you’d like to read (go onnnnn) check back in a week or so when I may or may have got myself sorted and starting posting regularly again!)

 

 

 

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London diaries | graduation, running many miles and settling in |

To start with, I’m sure you’ll all be very pleased to know that I managed to get over my fear of shoving on the tube (read initial disaster on my last post). I wiggle. Wiggling is the way guys. I’ve also stopped getting on transport going in the wrong direction and started not even having to check Citymapper before going anywhere!

Reckon I’m around a level 3 Londoner… 10 being a fully-fledged commuter who shouts at people to ‘please move down the carriage!’. Not quite ready to start yelling at strangers, especially as no one ever chats on the tube. I’m such a nosey people watcher so whenever people do talk I tend to tune in to keep myself occupied. I like wondering what these people I’m sharing these moving metal tubes with do with their lives… what are their jobs/names/ages/favourite F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode (for those of you who care, mines The One With The Cop and the famous sofa pivot scene, cracks me up every time!)

The last week was extremeeeeely busy – so excited to have a chilled week and just get back to learning to ‘london’. It was busy but one of the best weeks ever, so much happened!

Thursday was graduation! Someone lived out my all time dreaded fear and actually fell over on the stage steps… I felt so awful for her but it was also bloody hilarious. Our chancellor, Mr Alan Titchmarsh himself, was so so kind and helped her up, carried out the whole shaking hands ‘good luck in the future’ schpeel and then walked her off stage, what a gent.

I managed to avoid falling and safely landed with both feet firmly on the ground, degree in hands feeling very very proud of myself :)

We, my parents and my uncle, then went for a lovely jubbly meal and Rick Stein, where they gave me a cute little graduation desert as a congratulations and I came away fuller than full. I then had to get a train back to London as I only booked one day off work (very much regretted that decision).

Friday morning bought around my first official meeting as a product copywriter, fancy ey?? My colleagues and I have split the departments to make it easier for the rest of the company to know who to contact with questions – mine are footwear, homeware and accessories (we split womenswear as its just too big for one person!). I was meeting the buyers and assistants to discuss our relationship going forward it all went swimmingly. I love feeling like I have actual responsibilities when my biggest responsibility used to be remembering to walk the dog!

In terms of level, I reckon I’m at adult level 4/5. Still feeling like a student, but when my first adult pay cheque hits my bank account in T-2 days I think that may increase to a 6, maybe ;)

So Friday night was graduation ball with my two amazing best gals. Was so nice to feel all fancy and dressed up for a night of dancing and drinking. It was also extra special as I was wearing my Nana’s dress. She wore it at my age… and then my mum wore it at the same age! How cool is that? I also think it’s cool that we were all the same size at the same age… genetics are freaky!

Saturday was spent travelling back home home to prepare myself for the 10 miles I’d stupidly signed myself up for! I had only raised £10 and was not excited or prepared to put myself through all that running for a measly tenner. So I emailed everyone I could think of and managed to raise nearly £300 in 2 days! Not bad ey? I’m still £20 from my target so if any of you lovely people fancy donating a few squids to the cause please head on over to my Just Giving page to help me reach my target!

My cousins, their friends and my beautiful running parter/bezzie m8 all stayed Saturday night, we had a carb loading sesh courtesy of my mother veggie lasagne and went to bed dreading the race but dreaming of the finish line. Morning came, we all porridged up and made the hour drive to Portsmouth, home of The Great South Run.

It was bloody freezing, so we took shelter in the car before heading to the warm up area. Despite peeing TWICE before the race started me and Debs had to make a toilet stop around 5 mins into the run, but apart from that (and one 10 second plaster stop) we didn’t stop once! It was actually quite fun…? Never thought I’d say I’d ever enjoy running 10 miles, but I did!

And that brings us round to right now. I’m in immense pain, feel like an old person hobblin’ around everywhere but I’m so glad we did it. Not sure I’ll be signing up for any more anytime soon, but I definitely wouldn’t right it off in the future.

I’ve lived here for nearly a month and I can’t quite believe it! Everything is gr8. Job’s good, city’s good, vegan cooking is semi-good (blog post coming soon about that) and life’s good!

I’m a bit gutted that I haven’t been able to get any sewing in recently but I have a couple of blog post ideas that I’l be posting in the next few weeks… so for the time being that’s all you’re getting.

Peace and love xxx

 

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