Let us continue…
I had offered up my culinary skills as I’m pretty poor and had food in the fridge that needed eating! He came over to my – totally planned – free house, and well… yeh. To save you the gory details (sorry parents and other family members) the inevitable happened haha. Dinner happened, chat happened and I slowly realised that actually this guy was nice… but he really wasn’t my cup of tea and his BP (boyfriend potential) was very low. His BP continued to drop when he chose to debate feminism with me and then continued to say something along the lines of ‘being a white male is hard you know because everyone hates us’… YEP. I mean in hindsight I should have completely thrown him out right there and then.
As I said, I had already told myself that this would just be a bit of fun, no strings blah blah and was pretty confident we would be meeting up again… funnily enough because he said he’d like to and it had been fun. I am a pretty stand up gal, I am completely against lying and try and be as honest with people as possible without upsetting them – so I tend to trust people until they give me a reason not to. Could be seen as naïve but I’m a very optimistic person so that is just how I rolllll. And, as another friend of mine pointed out yesterday when I told her I had written this blog – regardless of the situation and knowing a ‘bit of fun’ will never turn into anything serious, you should always respect the person you are sharing that experience with. Treating them like you would want to be treated is not bloody rocket science – all it takes is honesty and mutual kindness, something a lot of people sadly lack nowadays.
Fast-forward a week…
Had he text me? Yes, a bit, very brief and only on the evening he left my house. Had I tried texting him to no avail? Yes. Had I screen-shot the convo to all my girlfriends to ask for their advice? Yes. Sorry guys, but you all know that is what happens now, its 2018. So after careful consideration and the quick realisation the ‘friends with benefit’ scenario I had planned out in my head was in fact going to be a one-time thing, I sent him a rather sassy text.
Now, before you all start thinking ‘why didn’t you just leave it’, or ‘he’s not worth it’, or ‘it was obviously just going to be a one time thing’ HEAR ME OUT. Firstly, in my opinion, it was very very strongly suggested that we would be meeting up again as I was under the impression we had both had a good time. Secondly, why the hell should I just leave it? He completely played me and entirely succeeded and I felt like I owed it to myself to say my peace. And lastly, no, I knowwww he’s not worth it at all, but I knew I would feel better if I said something because I am quite sassy by nature (red head hellooooo) and he had been a little shit quite frankly.
My text said something along the lines of ‘i don’t appreciate being used and lied to but I feel like a complete idiot who fell for your fake charm. Don’t treat other girls like this it’s fucking out of order. Bye.’
Mr Shitty Fitty had the CHEEK to reply (not even a ‘sorry I’ve been busy’ which would have been a blatant lie but at least it would have been a vague apology) something like ‘you have know idea what I have been through this week.’ Yeh. I then felt so so guilty (because that is the kind of person I am, dumb I know). I am too nice for my own good (a quality I have slowly learnt adjust when around certain people) so I found myself APOLOGISING. His reply me feel so bad but I knew that if I had just continued to be my true sassy self I would have felt even guiltier. So I decided to end it as amicably as I could whilst still maintaining some integrity, kind of.
So to conclude, I am not quite sure why I suddenly felt the need to share this with anyone who chooses to read it but the London dating scene is tough. It’s a minefield and it’s bloody brutal, so I guess I had just come to end of my tether and needed to vent and get it all out on paper in response to all the people out there who have been played!! The morale of this story and the lesson I have learnt is that I am not good at ‘casual’ and do not have the right attitude for this type of relationship. I am the least cool person you will ever met and I will 100% never be breezy. A ‘friends with benefits’ scenario will only ever end in tears (mine) so I shouldn’t have really put myself in that situation in the first place… BUT HEY. I’m only human, we all make mistakes and this is certainly one I intend to never ever make again. People who have met someone all say the same thing – ‘it’ll happen when it happens’ – and I believe that too… but in the meantime, whilst the ‘it’ decides exactly when to happen, I hope this rant provides some solitude to others in similar situations and perhaps a laugh or two, because taking life too seriously is no fun at all.